Satiety

Satiety (formerly Satiatedness)


The earth ended abruptly,
Near the borders of the sea,
Which splashed furiously, apparently unable
to force the stone free,
It seemed futile, a waste of tide,
Of foamy water, which sprayed the air,
Made the air misty, a white of pride,
And the rocks showed for a moment;

The sea was back again,
Cloaking the murderous stone,
'There is no stone', it claimed in disdain,
I felt a chill within my bone,
The sea tempted me to leap,
'Forget the air, the heights, the twilight,
think of the frothy water - 'tis deep.
And how about facing Poseidon in a fight?'

I was mesmerised by the power I had,
O'er life and O'er death,
Seduced by power - 'twas not so bad,
I knew it would take my breath,
Fighting this urge to give it all up,
In a final act of defiance,
To those who don't know what the mind is,
Those who make rules and create many a nuisance;

The sea was gone, back in its lair,
As it tried to recouperate, the black rocks lay bare,
I snapped out of the illusion, if only for a moment,
And I saw my life as a woman atop a mare,
Just then, the sea lumbered back,
Frothing the watery rocks, disguising them,
The air grew foggy as I lost my insanity,
And I saw the dame go lame;

The moon shone bright, that full moon night,
Though 'twas partly obscured by the clouds,
As I breathed the salty air, I took in that sight,
I saw all my friends dressed in shrouds,
And I walked up to my good friends,
Said, 'What are you doing here?'
'We're here to make amends,
Lets go get us a beer;'

And then I realised,
My friends - my good friends didn't know me,
not as well as these that were shrouded claimed,
'twas Poseidon - the spirit of the sea,
Encouraging me to go home, like sheep,
Mocking me and my mind,
Mockery that would've made lesser men weep,
That would've made them cocoon themselves and go blind;

But I knew what I could accomplish,
Though a mortal, I could challenge the sea and win,
For If I lost, I'd be sleeping with the fish,
Forever a mangled mass of flesh and bone,
And that was unacceptable to me,
Undesirable and ridiculous,
That this ego, this mind that's free,
Should lose to a sea tempestuous;

I stood there waiting, thinking,
While waves came and went,
The cool breeze from behind me blowing
to convince me to repent,
To repent for having challenged the waves,
And having refused to step down,
I faced the ocean, palms by my side,
Like a king, ready for his crown;

The breeze was now stronger - a gale,
Trying to blow me off the cliff to a ghastly end,
I dug my feet, naked, into the earth,
And braced myself as the events turned a bend,
The clouds stole the moon from me,
'twas almost, but not quite, darkness absolute,
Then they started pouring their load,
As if they wanted to see if I was resolute;

The grass at my feet rustled and sounded
like snakes slithering, not one, many,
Around my legs, to drive me away, my ego wounded,
Away to oblivion;
I stood still, staring at the horizon which
could no longer be secerned from the sea,
The sea - grey and so was the rainy sky,
Which darkened my environs and wetted me;

't was chilly and dank,
Was the cold november air,
The wolves howled at a distance
Too close for comfort,
The sea withdrew again,
Showing the rocky surface, once concealed,
Like a heart filled with pain,
Which was hidden for long, then revealed;

So I said goodbye to mom,
Goodbye to dad, ready to sleep forever,
The swell grew upon the rocks,
't seemed a placid river,
I looked again, o'er my shoulder,
And saw everything I was leaving behind,
I knew some hoped I wouldn't jump,
I was cutting a part of the twine;

The water receded temporarily,
Reminding that I was insane,
Then rose rapidly,
To wash away my pain,
I let the earth go, stepped upon the sky,
Felt the wind in my hair,
The salty mist in my eye,
Before th' water, I swam thru' the air;

The sea was at its greatest,
To catch me in its tide,
Then the rocks showed again,
As the water moved aside,
And I felt a strange sanity brew within,
That overcame vanity and pride,
't made my eyes water, made me cry,
I thought 'twas the end;

And I fell closer towards them,
As the rocks grew larger,
I caught something thru' the corner of my eyes,
The swell of the sea, covering the rocks,
'twas a race against time,
As I drifted towards death,
There came a moment sublime,
When I fell into water, and lived through the bet.


(c) 2001, Shaunak Agarkhedkar.
Comments to shaunak@gmx.net